Vigils honoring Nex Benedict held in Owasso, downtown Tulsa

OWASSO, Okla. — On Sunday people across Oklahoma gathered at vigils and ceremonies honoring Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old nonbinary Owasso student who died the day after a fight at school.

In Benedict’s hometown, more than 100 people showed up at the Redbud Festival Park for a candlelight vigil honoring Benedict.

Many of them told FOX23 they didn’t have all the answers yet. They doubted they would know everything that happened, but what was clear to them was that someone in their community who was different and not afraid to show it was gone forever.

“The significance of this moment in history is showing up for each other and letting each other know that you’re not alone. We want answers. We need justice,” said Sara Cunningham, founder of Free Mom Hugs, a statewide LGBTQ ally group.

Cunningham’s group usually appears at gay pride celebrations and other happy occasions throughout the year. Sunday, she told FOX23 while starting to cry that the hugs handed out at the Owasso vigil felt different this time. Instead of triumph and celebration, she and her group were there to comfort the grieving.

“This is a tragedy at the most deepest level. More than one family has been affected by this,” Cunningham said.

Owasso resident Anna Richardson organized Sunday’s vigil for Nex in their hometown. She said it was time for the adults in the room to stand up to bullying, not just at school but also within society, while also giving people in the community a chance to come together and grieve and reflect.

“Members of this community who have never experienced this type of tragedy at our high school in recent years, that I’m aware of, need to have a place and space to be able to come together collectively and see their Owasso community supports them,” Richardson said.

Richardson organized the event with some of Nex’s closest friends. Nex’s family was invited but because of not just handling the loss of their child but also international media attention, the family sent statements out to be read by Nex’s personal friends.

“Nex was part of our community,” Richardson said. “They went to school here. They lived here with us.”

Because Nex’s friends are under 18, there was no media permission given for them to speak directly during interviews, but they did take the stage to say that Nex was proud to be different. However, it was that difference that caused Nex to be the target of constant bullying. Bullying that over time built up to the incident in the girl’s room at Owasso High School.

Nex’s preliminary autopsy did not show they died from trauma caused by the fight, and the results of a complete examination are still pending.

At the event, Richardson and others said it was time for Owasso High School to address that not everyone is going to be the same, and that is something to be celebrated, not ridiculed.

The vigil was part of a weekend of vigils held across the state and country for Benedict. Many saw it as a rallying cry to take more action against bullying and make sure protections for LGBTQ individuals to live as they want to are improved nationwide.

In Tulsa, the Trans Advocacy Coalition of Oklahoma hosted a candlelight vigil at Guthrie Green in downtown Tulsa.More than 100 people gathered to share their condolences for Benedict and their emotions on Benedict’s passing.

“It’s so sad that they will not have the opportunity to grow up, it really is, especially as a Indigenous nonbinary person myself, that very well could’ve been me when I was in high school, it could’ve been anybody’s child. And that’s why we are pushing for change to actually protect our trans children and our siblings in the community,” said Asher Aven, co-director of outreach with the Trans Advocacy Coalition of Oklahoma.

Many stood with flags and candles lit, hoping to keep Benedict’s name alive.

Aven said despite the terrible circumstances, it’s a chance to bring the community together as one.

“I think the community needs to know that we’re here for you and that I see you, I want all two-spirit LGBT activists and just the community in general to know that we are here, and we’re here to stay and the people who can’t stay in Oklahoma, we will miss you and we will stay to fight for you,” Aven said.

Aven hopes the community will feel more together and safer.

“I’m a transgender nonbinary adult and I’m queer and I have grown up to be happy and healthy and have friends, I’ve only become an activist in the last year. And it has changed my view and made me less scared and made me feel so connected to my community and I want you to know that you can grow up and be happy too,” Aven said.

There will be a community prayer vigil at the Disciples Christian Church in Bartlesville.

In Lawton, the Unitarian Universalist Church hosted a candlelight service.