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Officers first responded to the call of a naked woman on top of a building.
When they got there, they found that woman had shimmied up a flagpole and grabbed the American flag and then come down.
However, they had bigger issues.
At the same time, a fire broke out on a building nearby.
The blaze was quickly put out, but the naked lady was more of a challenge.
KOIN news reports she held a lighter and fire extinguisher while draping the flag around her.
Next, she damaged cars and trucks by throwing construction materials off the roof.
Portland cops took her into custody and then whisked her away for a mental health evaluation.