The epic fail came after the robber tried to get widower Miyo Koba to open her store’s cash register.
Miyo said when she refused, he became angry and “pulled his little sword out of his little jacket.”
Police in Moses Lake, Washington said that “little sword” had a three foot blade.
When Koba threatened the crook with a pair of scissors, he pushed her to the ground.
That’s when she found her weapon of choice.
KREM-TV reports she grabbed a golf club and teed off on him.
"I tried to swing this club at him, and I tried to hit his head a couple times but I couldn't reach it,” she began.
Instead, she pounded on the guy's legs, sending him scurrying out the door of the store she has owned for 60 years.
The robber carried her cash register with him as he escaped on a bicycle.
Police found the register, still full of money not far from the store. They're still looking for the guy.
No word on whether Koba birdied, or parred the crooks shins.