Everybody loves swag.
"SWAG — Stuff We All Get." (Via NBC / "The Office")
But Oscars swag? It's on another level, and we definitely do not all get it. The gift bags are aptly named "Everyone Wins at the Oscars," meaning lose a statue, still get awesome stuff. The "stuff" is both luxurious ... and weird.
There's a trip to Vegas worth $9,000. A tour through Japan worth $15,000. (Via YouTube / VisitLasVegas)
Vacations to Hawaii and Mexico and a trek through the Rocky Mountains. (ViaYouTube / alohacondos)
But it gets weird. Ever heard of the O-shot procedure? It's all about vaginal rejuvenation and enhancement, and nominees can get it if they want, thanks to the swag bag. It's worth $2,700. (Via WPBF)
Can't forget the guys though — their gift is the ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant System. What's the Academy trying to say? This procedure is way more expensive — worth $16,000. (Via YouTube / Mark Bishara)
Also, in LA people love their dogs. The bags contain a whopping $7,700 of pet products alone — including electrolyte pet therapy, whatever that means. (Via Epic Pet Health)
There are smaller items, too — candies, teas, organic maple syrup.
Oh, and his-and-hers Mace pepper spray guns. Maybe to take out whoever actually won in your category. (Via Mace.com)
But perhaps our favorite — remember that trip to Vegas? It also includes a face-to-face meeting with Boyz II Men. Because, you know, why not?
The gift bags are put together every year by LA-based marketing firm Distinctive Assets. Well, they're certainly distinctive — and full of bizarre assets. Head to Newsy to get all the best moments from the Oscars Sunday — who wins ... and who loses.